Lost In Translation…and awkward scripts: Scarlett Johansson Movies You Won’t Believe She Starred In

Lost In Translation…and awkward scripts: Scarlett Johansson Movies You Won’t Believe She Starred In

Scarlett Johansson managed to achieve something few thespians manage in their careers: becoming synonymous with a character. For more than a decade, she was instantly recognizable as Black Widow from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, starring in movies like Ironman, Captain Marvel, and Avengers. However, that’s just one of the few remarkable feats she’s achieved in her career as she has consistently ranked as the highest-paid actress in the world while also being the highest-grossing actress of all time. Several BAFTA, Tony, Academy Awards, and Golden Globe nominations speak volumes about her acting chops. But it hasn’t always been smooth-sailing for Johansson as she’s also starred in movies that make you wonder how or why the script was ever approved. If that’s gotten you curious, here are some Scarlet Johansson movies that even Scarlet Johansson must wonder why she starred in:

The Perfect Score

High school is a fun time. Or at least that’s what every other teenage rom-com movie makes it out to be. But for Kyle, high school really was the best time of his life. Unfortunately, he did a whole lot of partying and next to no studying. So, his prospects of getting into a good University are meager and rely solely on him getting a good SAT score.

So, what does he do? Detach himself from all distractions and study hard to ace his exam? No. He emotionally blackmails and manipulates his friends into helping him steal SAT questions to ensure he gets a good score. However, as it soon turns out, breaking into a test facility is a lot harder than scoring a couple of 3-pointers on the court.

The Spirit

If you’re a comic book fan and have been following the works of Frank Miller, you’ll know how sad his career’s trajectory has been for the last decade or so. Hence, it’s no surprise to see the man who wrote modern classics like 300, Daredevil: Born Again, The Dark Knight Returns, and Sin City to have written something like The Spirit. When a rookie cop, Denny, gets killed in the line of duty, he doesn’t ascend to heaven or descend to hell.

Rather, he’s resurrected and discovers he’s been imbued with superhuman reflexes. He uses these to start a killing spree or “justice,” as he claims, targeting the city’s criminals. Pretty soon, he earns the moniker, The Spirit, for his almost phantom-like acts. He begins recruiting sidekicks and lieutenants to help in his crusade against the city’s crime kingpin, The Octopus.

Home Alone 3

If you loved the first Home Alone and couldn’t help but wonder how the makers made the same movie all over again in Home Alone 2, chances are you’ll be one of the many that absolutely despise Home Alone 3. Spoiler alert, there’s no McCaulay Culkins in this one, and the primary plot is more or less the same. A sophisticated bunch of criminals somehow manage to misplace a piece of luggage containing a chip with an old lady.

In their plow to retrieve the bomb, they stalk the old lady’s house. How hard could it possibly be to rob a frail old lady? Who knows because the criminals discover the old lady’s given the chip (hidden in a toy car) – Are we sure these guys are sophisticated criminals? – to a boy next door. You can probably guess what happens next as this group of “sophisticated” criminals can’t properly rob a 9-year old.

A Good Woman

Few other movies show exactly why rom-coms shouldn’t try and take themselves too seriously. Erlynne is introduced as a ditzy but vengeful upper-class seductress who makes her way to Italy. Her reason for this trip across the Atlantic? She’s heard a local mafioso boss is an adulteress, and she feels like an affair is her ticket to a more comfortable life. But surprise surprise, the mafioso boss’ wife, played by Johannsson, finds out about their affair and plots a vendetta.

I’d probably be on her side if only she weren’t having an affair of her own with her bodyguard. As if the plot wasn’t convoluted enough, at their daughter’s birthday, it turns out Erlynne and the bodyguard have been having an affair too.

Eight Legged Freaks

Now that I think of it, the early 2000s did give us one bizarre movie after another. Whether it was a peculiar lack of good writers or an excess of eccentric ideas, few movies serve to illustrate the sheer absurdness of that era than Eight Legged Freak. Unsurprisingly, the plot is fairly simple to follow. Unknown to town residents, a chemical factory has been releasing its chemical waste into an underground well. No one at the factory seems bothered until one day, car-sized spiders seemingly overrun the entire factory.

If that wasn’t enough, the spiders have mutated a plethora of powers. Luckily, a scientist who just so happens to be an expert in arachnids is present in the town and leads humans to defeat their new eight-legged foes. If not an exhibit of cinematic magic, this movie would make a good popcorn flick highlighting why being irresponsible with your chemical waste is a bad idea.

Yasir Nawaz
Yasir Nawaz

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